Love to you and your little boy. I know nothing anyone outside you offers can comfort you. I am always in disbelief at how real panic is, how physical...especially at night when the rest of the world is asleep. I am sorry you are feeling this. Your post is so powerful it left me in tears. The challenge, I think, is finding a way to live with the knowledge that joyful moments are just that and not permanent notions of being. I remember one day my son was unconsolable and I made sure he was secure and walked outside the house and lifted my face to the sun and sobbed. But then I felt new. I do not believe I could have loved him more than I did. but I needed a minute outside away from him. I don't understand how less than three minutes outside, I could still hear him crying, gave me the perspective I needed. But it did. I was then able to turn my attention to his tears rather than my own. Take care of yourself and thank-you for sharing your words. Lia
Love to you and your little boy. I know nothing anyone outside you offers can comfort you. I am always in disbelief at how real panic is, how physical...especially at night when the rest of the world is asleep. I am sorry you are feeling this. Your post is so powerful it left me in tears. The challenge, I think, is finding a way to live with the knowledge that joyful moments are just that and not permanent notions of being. I remember one day my son was unconsolable and I made sure he was secure and walked outside the house and lifted my face to the sun and sobbed. But then I felt new. I do not believe I could have loved him more than I did. but I needed a minute outside away from him. I don't understand how less than three minutes outside, I could still hear him crying, gave me the perspective I needed. But it did. I was then able to turn my attention to his tears rather than my own. Take care of yourself and thank-you for sharing your words. Lia
Thank you so much for sharing. It's remarkable how centering a minute away to breathe can be.